Hard Times & Grief

The Empty Chair Prayer

There’s a simple way of praying that many people have found life-changing: put an empty chair in front of you, picture Jesus sitting in it, and talk to him. Not formal prayers, just conversation, the way you’d talk to a close friend sitting across from you. It sounds almost too simple, but it makes real what Christians believe: that he is actually present, and actually listening.

2 minute read

The empty chair is also used in grief counselling. Therapists sometimes ask people to speak to an empty chair as if someone who has died, or someone who hurt them, were sitting there, to say what was never said. In prayer, Jesus can be present in that conversation too.

Historical Context

Scripture: “I have called you friends,” John 15:15

Tradition: St Teresa of Avila taught prayer as “a close sharing between friends”

Also: The empty chair technique in grief and trauma counselling

St Teresa of Avila described mental prayer as “nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us.” The empty chair is just a way to help the imagination do that.

An Empty Chair Prayer

Jesus, I’m imagining you sitting here with me.
I’m going to talk to you the way I’d talk to a friend.
Here’s what’s going on in my life…
(Tell him, in your own words.)
Thank you for listening.
Help me remember you’re this close all day.
Amen.

For Grief

Lord, I’m picturing (name) in this chair, with you beside them.
There are things I never got to say.
(Say them.)
Take my words to them, and hold us both.
Amen.

For Forgiveness

Lord, I’m picturing the person who hurt me sitting here, with you next to them.
I’m telling them what they did, and that I’m choosing to let it go.
Help me mean it.
Amen.

Best Times for This Prayer

When formal prayer feels distant.
After a loss, when there are words left unsaid.
When working through forgiveness.

Scripture Connection

“Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends.” — John 15:15

Jesus chose the word “friends.” The empty chair is a way of taking him at his word.

Related prayers

For grief, see the Widow’s Prayer and Crossing Over Prayer. For forgiveness, the Prayer of Release. For honest prayer, the Honest Prayer.

More hard times & grief prayers

All 17 →

About Stephen S. Griffin

Stephen S. Griffin is the pen name of the person who runs Guided by Prayer, a reference library of prayers. How the prayers are written and sourced.