And there is a prayer here for a father who was not a good one, because a great many people praying for a sick dad are praying for a complicated man.
Historical Context
A Healing Prayer for My Father
Lord, my father is ill.
Put your hand on him.
Ease the pain, and let the treatment do what it is meant to do.
Give his doctors clear sight and steady hands.
Give him the patience that being ill asks for
and that he has never had much of.
Let him sleep tonight.
And in the hours when he is frightened and will not say so,
be nearer to him than I can be.
St Raphael, medicine of God, pray for him.
Amen.
Before Surgery
Father in heaven, tomorrow morning they operate.
Be in the room.
Steady every hand that touches him.
Let the anaesthetic take and let it let go.
Bring him back to us.
And if you are bringing him to yourself instead,
let it be gentle, and let us have said what needed saying.
St Joseph, patron of fathers, pray for him.
Amen.
Telephone the parish today rather than tomorrow. The Catechism says plainly that “it is fitting to receive the Anointing of the Sick just prior to a serious operation” (CCC 1515), and a priest would far rather come the night before than be called afterwards.
Ask for the Anointing of the Sick
This is the part worth reading even if you skip the rest.
It is not the last rites and it is not only for the dying. The time has come “as soon as anyone of the faithful begins to be in danger of death from sickness or old age” (CCC 1514). An ageing father with a heart condition qualifies. So does one facing a hip replacement.
It repeats. “If during the same illness the person’s condition becomes more serious, the sacrament may be repeated” (CCC 1515). He can be anointed this year and again next year.
You can make the call. You do not have to be the patient, and you do not need his permission to ask what the parish can offer. Telephone, say your father is seriously ill, and ask for Confession, Anointing, and Communion brought to him.
Families who did this are glad they did. Families who waited say the same sentence afterwards, every time: we should have rung sooner.
A Prayer for a Father Who Was Not a Good One
Most pages on this subject assume a father worth thanking God for. If yours was not, you are still here praying, and that deserves words of its own.
Lord, he is ill and I am the one who came.
You know what he was like. I am not going to soften it for you.
Heal him anyway — I find I want that, which surprises me.
Do not ask me today to feel more than I feel.
Give me the grace to be decent to him in this room
without pretending the past did not happen.
If there is anything to be said between us, make the moment.
And if there is not, let me leave having done right by him.
Amen.
A Prayer for Whoever Is Nursing Him
Father, my mother is doing this alone most of the week
and will not say she is struggling.
Hold her up.
Give her sleep, and someone to talk to who is not one of us.
Give me the sense to do something specific
instead of asking whether there is anything I can do.
Bless the nurses on the ward tonight.
St Raphael, pray for all of them.
Amen.
Best Times for This Prayer
- On the day of a diagnosis or a scan result.
- The night before surgery — and telephone the parish the same day.
- On 29 September, St Raphael’s feast, for a father who is chronically ill.
- On 19 March, the feast of St Joseph.
- On Father’s Day, when he is unwell.
- When you live too far away to be at the hospital.
Scripture Connection
“My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her, so that she may live.” — Mark 5:23
Jairus is a synagogue official — a man with standing, used to being the one consulted — and he falls at Christ’s feet in the road and begs. Then the journey is interrupted by somebody else’s illness, and while they are delayed the news comes that the girl has died.
The part to hold is what Christ says next: “Do not fear, only believe.” Not you were too slow, and not an explanation of the delay. Anyone who has prayed for a parent while the appointment slipped by a fortnight, or the specialist was unavailable, is standing where Jairus stood.
Related prayers
If your father has died, the Prayer for Dad in Heaven covers the Eternal Rest prayer and having a Mass offered for him.
The Saint Raphael Prayer has the traditional healing texts in full, and St John of God is the patron of hospitals and those who nurse. If his mind is going rather than his body, see the Prayer for Alzheimer’s. If it is clear he is dying, the Prayer for a Happy Death covers Viaticum and the last sacraments.
