The prayer below is the Church’s own, said over every Catholic grave for centuries. It is four lines long.
Historical Context
Eternal Rest
Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon him.
May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.
It is short enough to say at a graveside in the rain, which is what it was made for. “Perpetual light” is the request — not rest as sleep but rest as arrival.
Why Catholics Keep Praying for Their Dead
Many pages on this subject assume that a good man went straight to heaven and needs nothing further. The Church teaches something gentler and more useful than that. Those who die in God’s friendship “but still imperfectly purified are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven” (CCC 1030). Assured — and still being made ready.
Which is why the practice exists at all: “From the beginning the Church has honored the memory of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic sacrifice, so that, thus purified, they may attain the beatific vision of God” (CCC 1032).
The same paragraph closes with a line from St John Chrysostom that belongs on a page about a father: “If Job’s sons were purified by their father’s sacrifice, why would we doubt that our offerings for the dead bring them some consolation? Let us not hesitate to help those who have died and to offer our prayers for them.”
Job offered sacrifice for his children. Here it runs the other way.
A Prayer for My Father Who Has Died
Lord, I bring you my father.
You know what he carried that he never told us about,
and what he got wrong, and what he did quietly and well.
Be merciful to him in the places he needed mercy.
Finish in him whatever is not yet finished,
and bring him quickly into your light.
Thank you for the years he was given to us.
And when it is my turn, let him be there.
Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord.
Amen.
Have a Mass Offered for Him
This is the most substantial thing available to you, and most people do not know they can ask. Telephone any parish and request a Mass for your father, naming a date — his birthday, the anniversary of his death, Father’s Day. The priest offers that Mass for him, his name is said aloud, and the customary stipend is small; parishes will say one without it if money is short.
It is worth knowing about because it is the one thing on this page that is not just words. The Catechism calls the Eucharistic sacrifice the greatest of the offerings made for the dead, “above all” the rest, and it is available for the price of a telephone call.
The Church also commends almsgiving and works of penance offered for the dead. A gift given in your father’s name is a prayer of a different kind.
On His Birthday, or the Anniversary
Father in heaven, today is my dad’s day,
and I would have telephoned him.
I miss him in the ordinary way, all year,
and more today.
Grant him eternal rest, and let perpetual light shine upon him.
Give me something of what was good in him
and the sense to leave the rest.
And let him know, somehow, that he was prayed for today.
Amen.
Best Times for This Prayer
- On 2 November, All Souls’ Day, and through November.
- On the anniversary of his death, and on his birthday.
- On Father’s Day, which is often the hardest one.
- At his grave — the Eternal Rest prayer was written for exactly that.
- Each night, briefly, in the first year, when it is rawest.
- When something happens you would have told him about first.
Scripture Connection
“But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, and no torment will ever touch them.” — Wisdom 3:1
And the verse the whole practice rests on, which is why the Church kept Maccabees in the canon: “Therefore he made atonement for the dead, that they might be delivered from their sin” — 2 Maccabees 12:46. Judas Maccabeus takes up a collection and has sacrifice offered for soldiers who had died. It is the oldest record we have of anyone praying for the dead, and the Catechism cites it by name.
Related prayers
If your father is living but unwell, see the Healing Prayer for My Dad, which also covers asking the parish for the Anointing of the Sick.
For your own death rather than his, the St Joseph devotion is the traditional one — he is the patron of a happy death. For a mother, see A Mother’s Prayer, and for a brother, the Healing Prayer for My Brother.
