They are traditionally called cousins. Luke’s word is kinswoman — it does not say first cousin — but the tradition has used the closer term for centuries, and the shape of the relationship is right.
Historical Context
What makes the pair useful rather than decorative is what John says about it. Asked to compare himself with his kinsman, he gives the least competitive answer in Scripture: “He must increase, I must decrease.” Anyone who has watched a cousin do better than them and felt the pinch of it knows exactly how hard a sentence that is.
A Prayer for My Cousin
Lord, thank you for my cousin,
who has been in the background of my whole life
without either of us arranging it.
Bless the life they have built, which I only half know about.
Keep them in health and in good company.
Where we have drifted, give one of us a reason to telephone.
And where I have compared myself to them,
take it out of me —
let me want them to increase.
Amen.
For a Cousin Who Is Ill
This is the traditional prayer from the Church’s own rites for the sick, and it was the one genuinely good thing on the old page.
Almighty and everlasting God,
the eternal salvation of those who believe in you,
hear us on behalf of your servant who is sick,
for whom we humbly beg the help of your mercy,
so that, being restored to health,
they may render thanks to you in your Church.
Through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
Its usefulness is its plainness. You can say it over a hospital bed without having to feel anything in particular, which is what you want at four in the afternoon on day nine.
A Prayer for a Cousin in Trouble
Father, my cousin is in difficulty,
and I am close enough to see it and not close enough to say anything.
Go where I have no standing to go.
Send someone they will listen to.
Keep the family from discussing it at every gathering
as though it were entertainment.
And if there is a moment when I could help,
make me notice it.
Amen.
A Birthday Prayer for a Cousin
The old page had two of these and they were the only thing it did on purpose, so one is kept.
Lord, today is my cousin’s birthday.
Give them a good year — health, work they do not dread,
and people who are glad to see them.
Let them know they are thought of
by more of this family than tell them so.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Best Times for This Prayer
- On 24 June, the birth of John the Baptist.
- On their birthday, especially a cousin who lives far away.
- When they are ill, or in hospital.
- Before a wedding or a funeral where the whole family will be in one room.
- When a cousin you grew up with has stopped speaking to part of the family.
- When you catch yourself keeping score against them.
Scripture Connection
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” — John 3:30
John says this about his kinsman, at the point where his own followers are leaving to go and follow Jesus instead. He is being outshone inside his own extended family, in public, and his response is not resignation but relief — earlier in the same passage he compares himself to the best man at a wedding, whose whole joy is to hear the bridegroom’s voice.
It is the most useful verse in Scripture for the particular ache of having a cousin, which is the ache of a fair comparison you never asked anyone to make.
Related prayers
The other side of the same family is covered by the Prayer for My Aunt, the Niece Prayer and the Prayer for My Nephew. For an in-law rather than a blood relative, see the Prayer for My Sister-in-Law, which is built on the mothers of these two cousins.
If the cousin is seriously ill, the Saint Raphael Prayer is the healing one, and St John of God is the patron of hospitals. For a cousin who is more friend than family, the Prayer for a Friend in Need may fit better.
