The patron is St Joseph, and the tradition holds that he died before Christ’s public life began, in the presence of Jesus and Mary. That is the death being asked for: not painless, but attended.
Historical Context
The Catechism puts the whole devotion in a single paragraph, and it is worth reading in full because it names three separate practices most people only know one of: “The Church encourages us to prepare ourselves for the hour of our death. In the litany of the saints, for instance, she has us pray: ‘From a sudden and unforeseen death, deliver us, O Lord’; to ask the Mother of God to intercede for us ‘at the hour of our death’ in the Hail Mary; and to entrust ourselves to St Joseph, the patron of a happy death” (CCC 1014).
So every Hail Mary ever said is already a prayer for a happy death. Most people saying it have not noticed.
Prayer to Saint Joseph for a Happy Death
O Blessed Joseph,
who yielded up thy last breath in the arms of Jesus and Mary,
obtain for me this grace, O holy Joseph,
that I may breathe forth my soul in praise,
saying in spirit, if I am unable to do so in words:
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I give thee my heart and my soul.”
Amen.
The clause in the middle is the merciful part — if I am unable to do so in words. The prayer is written by someone who knew that many people cannot speak at the end, and it makes provision for that in advance.
From the Litany of the Saints
The Church’s own petition, the one CCC 1014 quotes:
From a sudden and unforeseen death,
deliver us, O Lord.
From the snares of the devil,
deliver us, O Lord.
From everlasting death,
deliver us, O Lord.
It is a striking thing to ask for. Most of us, asked how we would like to go, would say quickly and without warning. The Church asks for the opposite — for notice, and time to put things right.
A Prayer for My Own Death
Lord, I do not know when or how,
and I would rather not think about it,
which is why I am praying about it now while I can.
Do not let it be sudden.
Let me have the sacraments, and a priest in time.
Let there be somebody in the room.
Take the fear off me when it comes.
And whatever I have left unforgiven or unsaid,
prompt me to deal with it long before then.
St Joseph, who died in the arms of Jesus and Mary, pray for me.
Amen.
A Prayer for Someone Who Is Dying
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, be with them now.
Loosen whatever is holding them here in fear.
Forgive them everything.
Let them go gently, and not alone.
Mary, pray for them at this hour of their death.
St Joseph, patron of a happy death, pray for them.
Amen.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph” said slowly beside a bed is the traditional prayer of the deathbed, and it is enough. Nobody needs you to be eloquent in that room.
Ask for Viaticum
This is the practical part, and it is the thing families most often miss. Viaticum is Holy Communion given to a person who is dying — the word means provision for a journey — and the Church calls it the last sacrament of the Christian, not Anointing. It is meant to be received while the person is still able to receive it, which is why waiting for the final hours defeats the purpose.
What to do: telephone the parish and say the person is dying and you are asking for the last sacraments. Ask for Confession, Anointing and Viaticum together. Do it early. Priests would far rather come twice than arrive too late, and the one regret families report afterwards is always that they waited.
The Bona Mors Devotion
If the idea of preparing for this appeals, it has an organised form going back nearly four centuries. The Bona Mors Confraternity — the name is simply Latin for “good death” — was founded on 2 October 1648 at the Church of the Gesù in Rome by Fr Vincent Caraffa, the seventh General of the Jesuits, and approved by Innocent X and Alexander VII. Benedict XIII raised it to an archconfraternity in 1729.
Its aim was plainly stated: to prepare its members, by a well-regulated life, to die in peace with God. Not a prayer for emergencies, in other words, but a habit kept up over years — which is the only form of preparation that is any use for an event you cannot schedule.
Best Times for This Prayer
- On 19 March, the feast of St Joseph.
- Every night, briefly — the traditional practice is daily, not occasional.
- At a deathbed, with “Jesus, Mary and Joseph.”
- Before surgery, and before a long journey.
- On a diagnosis, for yourself or for someone else.
- In November, the month of the dead.
Scripture Connection
“Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace; your word has been fulfilled.” — Luke 2:29
Simeon has been waiting his whole life to see one thing, and the moment he has seen it he asks to be dismissed. The Church says his words every single night at Compline, the last prayer of the day, so that the faithful rehearse a peaceful death once every twenty-four hours for the whole of their lives. That is what preparing for it actually looks like, and it takes about fifteen seconds.
Related prayers
St Joseph has his own page. For the dead rather than the dying, see the Prayer for Dad in Heaven, which covers the Eternal Rest prayer and having a Mass offered.
For serious illness short of death, the Saint Raphael Prayer and St John of God, patron of hospitals and the sick, are the ones to use. St Dismas, who was promised paradise the same afternoon he asked, is the patron of deathbed conversions and of the unprepared.
